Pogorare

Eu, cea mai infiorata dintre femei de patima unei lupte, a unui dor ascuns, ce simteam adanc toate clocotele unor dorinte buimace de a salva...ma recladesc. Am invatat aspru ca tacerea se aude mai puternic decat cuvintele mele. Am spus pana mi-au sangerat buzele: " Ia viata mea si traieste-o intreaga", "Inveleste-ti singuratatea in inima mea", "Fie ca indoiala ta sa fie siguranta mea". Numai ca, de prea de multe ori, cuvintele mi-au cazut pe pamant sterp si nu rodeau. Mi-am asezat sufletul pe tipsie de argint sa ies in intampinare. Mi-am dezvaluit bataile inimii pe timpi potrivnici. Mi-am zdrelit genunchii la fiecare incercare iar ochii mei secau de lacrimi. M-a obosit jocul margelelor care cad, de fiecare data in acelasi ritm, dar totusi atat de ciudat de diferit. Incerc, macar o data, sa imi recompun icoana, sa fac exercitii de supravieturie. Mi-am exersat dorinta de eliberare. Descompusa de insingurare, mi-am sapat adanc in minte dreptul la dragoste rotunda, fidelitate intreaga si neascunzisuri. Iar in loc sa imi ascund vorbele, sa tac, singura, nestiutoare, supusa, fragila, candida, poruncesc destinului sa fie bun cu mine. Sa imi asculte visele, sa imi picure in urechi cuvinte dulci, sa nu imi piarda colturile ascunse ale inimii. Iar dupa aceea, ma incearca valuri ale tacerii. Cand nu mai am curajul sa strig. Sa chem.

Ploaia ochilor mei

Cuvintele imi joaca in mii de culori in cap, dar nu le mai pot vedea literele. Iar unghia de la mana stanga nu mai vrea sa creasca pentru a scrijeli zidurile pe care mi le ridic in juru-mi. Am obosit sa ma invinovatesc pentru felul nevrednic in care mi-am pazit sufletul si ma chinuie amintirea hotararilor ascunse in strafundul gandului. Mi-am incrustat in radacinile memoriei atatea ganduri, dar am ajuns sa imi ascut mintea in rationamente ale invinovatirii. Mi-am crosetat cu atata migala sinucigasa dantelarii de aspiratii si am spionat de atatea ori visele. M-am lasat purtata in slavile nefericirii trufase de betia convingerii ca am fost daruită cu o intuitie devastatoare. Cu o clarviziune capabila sa arunce sageata demascarii pana-n ultimul sanctuar al libertatii. Celorlalti. Nu vreau sa cred ca m-am uitat, m-am pierdut, m-am ucis in inima mea. Iar gandurile mele disperate si suave iau incet forma rugaciunilor aruncate spre zei de piatra.

Whatever...

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to #3.

Reasonable Doubt

thx Ionut:
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But, you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused,retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

The jury foreman replied, "Oh, we looked, but your client didn't."

Sens interzis

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent ryes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention he noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

“Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.

“They’re mating,” her father replied.

“What do you call the spider on top?” she asked.

“That’s a Daddy Longlegs,” her father answered.

“So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?” the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied “No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.”

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, “Well, we’re not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain shit in our garden.”

Nihil Sine Deus/Money

Via Catalin
Un preot catolic, unul ortodox si un rabin discuta despre gestionarea banilor primiti de la credinciosi. Preotul catolic: - Eu am o metoda foarte eficienta. Trag o linie cu creta pe jos si arunc banii in aer. Ce cade in stanga e pentru Dumnezeu si Biserica, ce cade in dreapta e pentru mine. Preotul ortodox: - Eu desenez pe jos un cerc. Banii ii arunc in sus; ce cade in cerc e pentru Dumnezeu si Biserica, ce cade in afara e pentru mine. Rabi: - La mine e cel mai simplu. Eu arunc banii in sus. Dumnezeu opreste ce-i trebuie, ce cade inapoi e pentru rabi...

Dictionary For Womens Personal Ads

40ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with all your friends
Athletic - No Tits
Average looking - Has a face like an ass
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious smile - Does a lot of pills
Educated - Fucked to death at college
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Friendship first - Former slut/born again virgin

NU RECUNOSC NIMIC :|